![]() ![]() “Spend a few minutes a day really listening to your spouse.If it heads straight down, then you’ve got some problems!" -Dame Julie Andrews "Marriage is like a graph-it has its ups and downs, and as long as things bounce back up again, you’ve got a good marriage.“Love, gratitude, compassion, because sometimes every man or every woman will drive their partner crazy.” -Goldie Hawn.If we were in high school and I was just funny, I'd never have the courage to talk to her." -Tom Hanks I still can't believe my wife goes out with me. "Husband secretly lowers the thermostat and I secretly turn it back up.And I should be committed, too-for being married so many times.” - Elizabeth Taylor She's the most beautiful Denny's you've ever seen though, I guarantee it.” -Ryan Reynolds “I'm just a diaper-changing facility hooked up to a life-support system, but my wife, she's breakfast, lunch, and dinner.I want to hear that you guys watch every episode of The Bachelorette together in secret shame or that one got the other hooked on Breaking Bad, and if either watches it without the other, they're dead meat.” ―Mindy Kaling “I don't want to hear about the endless struggles to keep sex exciting or the work it takes to plan a date night.“A man's main job is to protect his woman from her desire to ‘get bangs’ every other month." -Dax Shepard."Before you marry a person you should first make them use a computer with slow internet to see who they really are." -Will Ferrell.If that’s what you’re looking for, go live with a car battery.” -Erma Bombeckīrides / Mehroz Kapadia Funny Marriage Quotes from Actors and Actresses "Michelle’s like Beyoncé in that song, ‘Let me upgrade ya!’ She upgraded me." -Barack Obama. ![]()
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